guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I pour the whiskey from now on
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize