new low.... made out with someone while peeing
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
