So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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