jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
You're like the curious george of whores
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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