It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
