My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
