As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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