I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
