i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Randomize
