Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
