You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize