so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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