so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize