woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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