I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Randomize
