I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
