Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
