he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
