You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Are my feet made of real feet?
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
