The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
