It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
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