btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
