Porn is love you can see.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I believe in your delicious
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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