Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
