Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Randomize
