Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
