Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
You have to summon your inner elephant
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
