U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
