Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
