Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
