I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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