I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
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