I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
