i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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