What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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