Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Randomize
