Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Randomize