Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
