is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
