I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
