I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
