she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
