You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
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