Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
