whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
only if we run a train.
done.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
