If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
