You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
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