alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize