is your mom at the bar?
North Korea, Best Korea!
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
