I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
