worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
