when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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