If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
