this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
All the doctor said was why
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
