Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I need to align my fucking chakras
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
