He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
