I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
