I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
It's just like the Real World with babies
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
