you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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