just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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