dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
