Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
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